I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
