what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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