no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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