So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
