1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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