What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
