I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
3pm strippers are depressing
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
