I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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