Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
