I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
