Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
