did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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