did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
