his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
