Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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