All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This house was built for laser tag.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
