youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
