That's intense
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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