sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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