I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
