I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize