she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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