Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
