I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
