i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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