Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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