She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
