she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
