dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
