hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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