Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
