did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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