the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
