you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
