I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
