If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
