she kept yelling 'call me bella'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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