So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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