Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
