This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
