I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
