My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i will never coherently bang her
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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