i think my tv is drunk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
