guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What drink are we having for lunch?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
