just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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