Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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