im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
