the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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