Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.