So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if i died would you start the facebook group?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...