we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now