Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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