it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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