yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
3 2 1 whiskey
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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