Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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