am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
