my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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