Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
