i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
